Braced.

Last tuesday I got braces. (july 21st) They really aren't that bad. They are clear so you can't see them as much as regualr braces and you can't see the hardly at all in pictures. The spacers killlled and everyone who has/had braces tolded me that the braces hurt like just as much. They don't. The braces make it just a little bit trickier to eat, because food gets stuck in them, but they don't hurt really at all! i don't have the bottoms on yet. I'm getting those in 3-4 months.
My sister actually has been pretty good lately. I dont know if she smokes but now i dont even care anymore. I mean, it's her body that she's doing damage to, not mine.
I've been feeling really wierd lately and i dont know why. Like one day i will feel so confident and pretty and the next feel really insecure and ugly. It's strange.
Ben's got a new girl, her name is Sydney and she's really pretty. I'm going to try to keep going with Ryan. he seems like a really nice boy and that's what i need.
I'm getting sorta excited for school to start up again. But, i know once that first day is over i'm going to want it to be summer again. I hope I don't feel like afreshman still. My fried Joe from St.Louis is coming to DHS. It's pretty excited because I know he will be glad to see me (:
I'm really tired so im going to go to bed. Goodnight <3

Such a Klutz.

So, last sunday i went out with Ryan and our friend Tony and his girlfriend. It went really well and we all had a lot of fun. But, then a couple nights later Ryan texted me and he said he was at Ben's house. Eveer since then, he doesn't really seem too interested. I want to know what Ben said because I had a feeling that he said something to make Ryan chance his mind about me. Or maybe it was because when he texted me when I was at meaghan's house, I told him what we were doing :talking in the dark hahaha. And maybe he though it was wierd? I dont know. My mom keeps asking me whether hes texting me or not and if he's not she says "WELL, WHY NOT??" and shes trying to be funny but it really isn't....it's gets me thinking that he doesn't like me.
So, lately I have had so much on my mind regarding boys and it's so overwhelming. This is all my thoughts:
Does ryan like me or not? What did Ben say to Ryan? Jamie wnats to go out with me but i've never even met him! Travis likes me. This kid Brad likes me and I don't even know him. Meaghan emily and lauren had a sleepover and din't call me. Im sick of Joey and Lauren always being together. I'm so sick of my mom and my sister fighting. I'm nervous about this year. I cn't deal with Lauren L's problems anymore and I feel really bad. My teeth hurt because of the spacers, Im getting braces on tuesday (tops) and they might make me look wierd.Theres just so much going on that one day I'm just going to crack!!!!!
I've been such a klutz lately because of all these things running through my mind every single second of everyday. I'm tired and my mom keeps bugging me on going out with my friend when i just want to stay in and just chill by myself and get things straightened out with me first. I;m just so overwhlemed and IT'S SUMMER. This shouldnt be happening. Like yesterday at Target I got a slushie and the guy specifically said "dont fill it up all the way or it will overflow." and what did i do? I FILLED IT UP ALL THE WAY. and what did it do? OVERFLOWED. then when i went to get a napkin, i hit the cup and it spilt everywhere. It was such a mess and it was embarassing. But, whatever.
I give up on boys. I really do. They are just so like wierd. One minute they like you and then the next minute they dont. so, i give up, again.

It's disgusting!

So, today I went to the mall with emily, lauren, and meaghan and it was pretty fun (: Except, when we first got there I saw my sister. She was with her friend Jess ( a girl) and they were drinking their coffee. So, I was like hi! and then i waved but she was just like "uhmm..hi." and thne jess started laughing. I decided I don't like her. At alll. So, I just kept walking and I heard them laughing behind me. When we got it meaghan said "haha you're sister was slick" and is aid "about what?" and megg said " oh..she was putting out a cigarette like stomping on it with her foot."
It's so sad. Like she's lieing to my mom and dad and now she's making me a lier too because I dont wanna tell my mom what happended because then Maribeth will get mad at me. My mom said that my sister couldnt have her car for 2 weeks. It has been like 2 days and she already has her car back. I want to ask my mom about this but I'm afraid she will get mad. So, I'm just gonna give Maribeth a little bit of attitude. I also want to put like a "dangers of smoking" article in the bathroom so that maybe she will see it. She's going to get addicted. I hope she knows that.
And she keeps complaining that she doesn't have a boyfriend. Well, maybe if she stopped smoking that would make it a little bit easier. I even know that guys don't like girls who smoke ( well most of htem anyways). Smoking makes your breath smell bad, teeth yellow, it gets all in your clothes, causes a lot of health problems, and you could actually DIE. It's just soo stupid and disgusting and it's just frustrating.
You know what? she's doing this to herself. I'm not giving her anymore sympathy. I'm not. Im done. DONE with all this crap about her being fat and ugly. Go ahead and smoke. smoke until your lungs turn black and your teeth are all yellow. Just don't you dare do it around me or I will actually smack you probably. She doens't even know me anymore. Before jess, all she cared about was friggen Corey and now smoking, maybe if she didn't friggen smoke corey wouldnt have broken up with her. I'm done. goodnight.