Words are easier said than done.

OK so i know all u invisible readers are getting sick of Ben but seriously idk what to do. Hes never gonna like me again, I know that but like my mind just can't seem to wrap around that concept and i dont get why. I really need to get over him because he has aleady moved on to this other girl named Mikaela who is supposedly really nice. Good for him. He deserves a nice girl and all but seriously. On saturday he invited me over wiht like a bunch of other people from his basketball team and she was there and he put his arm around her. It was really awkward. He didn't even really talk to me much either. His mom did though. I really like her because she's wicked nice. I also played wii bowling with his little brother tony but tony won ahha and i really did try! Also, i dont think ben realizes that i could be saying soo many things about him right now but instead im just letting it go. Im not gonna tell anyone about how scared he was at witches woods or about his finding nemo or whatever it was beadspread. But, still. He thinks he has this control over me and its not fair. Hes the one who gave me more confidence in myself in the first place. This is allll his doing of me sticking up for myself and stuff. It also bugs me cause i think he thinks he knows like everything about me. NEWFLASH he doesnt. He doesnt know about my dad's surgery, about how my birthcontrol pills mixed up my whole 7th garde year, he doesnt know that i pretend to confrotn him like ervy single day and i say what im gonna say to him in the mirroe but then when i see him in person i dont say anything. I just act like a good little girl like he wants so he wont get in trouble. OKay, i need to stop this nonsense. I need to get a new boy in my head and stop thinking about him. I need to move on. I get it. I know what i need to do. But words are easier said than done.
Theres this dinner thing on March 29th that i hope he goes to. I wanna look so pretty and make him see what he's missing out on. But i guess it's not much now that he has her. Whatever, if shes really nice then she wont last for long. He'll probably do the same thing he did to me to her. Ans then i will stick up for her. And for some reason i still wont be over him. Why the heck does he have to be so fun to be around???? Why cnat he act like a jerk in person as well as on the computer????? NJDKSHDJFKHSFNJSDK. okay im done now....ill probably write back in a couple days i have a feeling ill have to.